Somebody Get Me a Stake

If it not's bad enough that the top ten highest selling books in the country are pretty much all from the Twilight series (or companions to the Twilight series), we also have to deal with all the watered-down, creatively bankrupt imitators that are now springing up.

But they're not just ripping off Twilight. Check this out;

I won't even get into speculating on whatever the hell a "vampire academy" is. But I'm sure it'd be full of emo losers.

Bright Lights, Big Albury

Yes, I'm back. Again. And once again, I'm writing to you from the comfort of my Albury-Wodonga hotel room. What can I say? It's boring in a hotel by yourself, which gives you the proper opportunity to catch up on the blogging you've been meaning to do. Or go crazy and try to kill your wife and child. Whichever comes first, I guess.

So what've I been up to since last we met? Well, getting the new place sorted. Working. Going to prom parties (photos available on Li-Kim's blog, if you haven't seen them on Facebook already).

Mum stayed for a couple of nights before heading off to Tasmania. PK visited from the UK, after Simon had visited from Bris Vegas. PK gave me shit for not updating my blog. Simon vowed never to end up on Facebook... only to end up on it what felt like five minutes later.

Went on a bit of a spending spree recently, all of which was contained to online book buying. Bought Vol 4 of the Absolute Sandman collection at a $100 ($60 under the rrp!), as well as managing to track down the last two parts in William Gibson's Sprawl trilogy.

I'm also considering reading a Jodi Picoult book after finding out the main character is a comic book artist and it incorporates pages from his comic. Given that it also references Neil Gaiman, I think my fate has been sealed. Turns out the ol' JP is a big comic fan, even having written a short run on Wonder Woman (which I've also bought, but has yet to be delivered).

Went to our half-yearly conference for work and got ....... quite drunk. Simone can field any questions you may have, if she isn't too ashamed to be associated with me as a result.

Also went to yum cha for Carol's birthday, which was fantastic. In fact, I liked it so much that I took Simone to the same place the very next weekend, and had another fantastic meal. A fantastic meal with custard buns. Need I say more?

I'll try and start updating a little more regularly, but I make no guarantees!

Watched-men

When I first read Watchmen back in 2004, it occurred to me both the potential it had to be made into a movie, and how incredibly difficult a task it would be to actually accomplish that. Five quick years later and we have director Zack Snyder’s take on the material, and the results are… well, a little bit mixed actually.

I could go on and on and on about this (and you all know I could!), but I’ll boil it down to this; I was surprised at both how incredibly faithful to the material the film was and how, when it deviated, how wild that deviation was.

Maybe I’ll go on just a little bit more…

Small moments of violence in the comic were magnified into entire sequences where compound fractures were dramatically and grotesquely depicted, where blood splattered like white water at Wet ‘N’ Wild, and where the two most relatable characters (Dan Dreiberg and Laurie Juspeczyk, aka Nite-Owl II and Silk Spectre II) come across as stone cold, murderous psychopaths.

It’s this level of violence that warps entire meanings of these characters, who themselves stand in now hypocritical judgement of the hyper-violent methods of vigilante Rorschach. At least, in the cinematic version, he makes no excuses for who he is and what he does, unlike the other “heroes” who call him unhinged and then go around stabbing muggers to death.

Combine that with Snyder’s extrapolation of a brief image of a couple kissing and undressing into a full-on, multi-position sex scene and you start getting the feeling that this is what it’d be like if a 14-year-old was behind the lens of the film, staying as close to the source material as possible, choosing only to delve deeper than the printed page when it came to the sex and violence.

Not to say I didn’t like the film overall; compared to most superhero movies, its moral ambiguities and uncompromising adaptation of the graphic novel means it’s a difficult movie to outright dismiss. There were quite a few moments where I was staggered – happily so – that they’d managed to keep a small, throwaway moment from the comic that I’d regarded as special, yet unnecessary to the development of the plot.

And the changes that are made to the finale help to streamline the story in such a fashion that you can’t help compare it to the original story and wonder whether or not it might have made more sense to come to the conclusion that the film did.

I even liked the music selection; what’s not to like about an opening sequence set to Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A’Changin”, or a fight scene to Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable”, or a third act opener using Jimi Hendrix’s cover of “All Along the Watchtower”? Multi-million dollar studio films don’t get soundtracks as diverse or interesting as this these days, and that’s a downright shame.

I wouldn’t recommend it to a non-comic fan. Certainly not as a cinema experience. Better to wait for DVD, stripped of the artifice of a night out and the expectation of some high-octane superhero action. It is, instead, a slowly unfolding mystery film with a rich tapestry of characters, each of whom get their moment in the spotlight… but it’s also a flawed adaptation of a superior source, where the cracks in the foundation are so fine you don’t see them unless you know where to look. Otherwise, you’re too busy staring at the ceiling just as it starts to cave in on you.

Maybe it’d have been better off in the hands of Terry Gilliam, or done as the HBO mini-series that fans dreamed about for years. But it’s here now, and overall, it definitely could have been worse. It ain’t no Dark Knight, but it’s no X-Men 3, either.

Consider This a Tease

The New Who

Right now, I'm watching a show on channel 2 (or as Generation Z will end up calling it, "ABC1") where the new Doctor Who, Matt Smith, is a heavily-featured supporting player.

So what's he like then?

Well, he has a strangely shaped head, with disproportionate features (big nose, big chin, big lips, big jaw, etc). And he needs to cut. His fucking. Hair.

In short, visually, he's the British James Van Der Beek.

But ... he blends an unassuming charm with an understated sense of authority and knowledge. He comes across as someone you can sympathise with very easily. In fact, I kind of like him.

Will that make him a good Doctor? Well, who can say?

...

...

...

... did you see what I did there?

What a Figwit!

This is a story literally years in the making.

Around the time that The Lord of the Rings was originally in cinemas, I stumbled across a fan site proclaiming its love for “Figwit”, aka “Frodo is Great---who is THAT??!!”



In short, Figwit was an elf extra in the background of the council scene in Fellowship of the Ring that, based on his striking looks, had managed to develop his own devoted following. Nerdy stuff, but to each their own.

Years later, I’m listening to the audio commentary for Return of the King (yes, I’m one of those guys. Like I said, to each their own!) when Phillipa Boyens and Fran Walsh point out that, in the scene where Eowyn is contemplating her future without Aragorn, Figwit makes another appearance, this time with a few lines. This was all courtesy of the cult following that had sprung up around this one guy. When doing re-shoots, the filmmaker’s thought it would be fun to invite the actor who played Figwit back, to please the “character’s” fans.

Four or five years pass. I’m sitting in the Henry Street living room after getting my haircut. Looking to pick up some more stuff I’d left behind (I swear, I’m the worst mover in the world) I figured I’d stop for a bit of a chat. Flipping through the latest Empire, I land on a page.

And am instantly blown away.

It turns out, after all these years hearing about this bloody Figwit guy, he turns out to be none other than Bret Mc-fuckin’-Kenzie from The Flight of the Conchords!!!



What the hell, man??

That’s like finding out Biggs Darklighter from Star Wars is actually Bill Bailey or some shit!

Needless to say, I immediately and breathlessly detailed the entire story above to Carol, who was likewise astonished. Or at least she pretended to be really, really well.

You can read about the whole thing in greater detail here. Rest assured, I will be telling everyone about this, regardless of how interested they are or if they have any degree of understanding.

Film Chat

It’s funny how your expectations of something can affect your actual experience of it. Simone and I went to go see three movies, all of which had very strong word of mouth (with one negative and the other two positive).

Australia was built up for months and months as an epic in the style of Old Hollywood, with a Sergio Leone-esque sweeping view of the titular country, its landscapes and its inhabitants. Rumours started circling about it fairly early on, and by the time it was released it seemed that almost everyone had a dim view of it (except Ben, of course).

So when Simone and I went to go see it, it was with fairly low expectations – and I think it’s safe to say we were both pleasantly surprised.


In short, it achieved everything it set out to. It was a grand love letter to a landscape often depicted as a nightmare, rather than as a dream. It was a rich mythologizing of a country and a culture that’s often written off as a punchline, and it was executed in a style that unmistakably brought to mind the kind of films that Hollywood doesn’t really make anymore.

Were people put off by the hyper-kinetic opening, where exposition was rattled off like machinegun fire, looking to breathlessly set up the entire story frame in the shortest amount of time (you know, like “Spaz” Luhrman does at the start of all his films)?

Were they put off by Nicole Kidman? I think that’s a big yes on that one, but I don’t see it personally. I’ve always found her off-putting. She’s always seemed much less an actual person and more like a porcelain shell, an image that gains ground with each passing year. But that was also what her character was meant to be, at least at the start, and when she began to thaw … hell, I bought it.

I understand that it’s not for everyone, but I have to admit I find it a bit mystifying that it’s as universally panned as it is. It reminds me of a film by the former Mr Kidman – Vanilla Sky – which was just as ridiculed and had just as much of an impact on me. But how much of that is a reflection of the film’s quality versus how my preconceptions have been shaped by the film’s negative reputation?

On the other end of the spectrum was The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a film I’d been looking forward to ever since having first heard about it. With David Fincher directing and Brad Pitt starring, and with its incredibly intriguing premise, its pedigree was undeniable.


But in the end, I think one critic (whose name escapes me) summed it up best as “a movie that’s easy to admire but hard to love”. I don’t know if it had to do with Benjamin’s consistently calm demeanour, but I couldn’t help but feel detached from the entire story. I kept in step with it, but I never felt a part of it. I guess it didn’t help that we were seated directly behind some Chatty Bitches ™, but in the end the entire enterprise felt less like a movie and more like an exercise in technicalities.

Somewhere in the middle sits Slumdog Millionaire.


While there’s no denying it’s an excellent film, I think this one was the biggest victim of expectations versus reality. For months on end I’d heard nothing but incredible buzz about it, saying how uplifting it was, how it was one of the best movies of the year.

When we actually went to see it, I couldn’t help but feel a little let down. It got me in the end – goosebumps did make an appearance – but after all the hype I couldn’t help but feel that the story had been almost straightforward to a fault.

I think the final verdict will come when I get around to catching up with each of these films on DVD. There, removed from any speculation or expectation, I’ll be able to gauge each of them on their own terms, as they deserve.

Meanwhile, Micky Rourke as Crimson Dynamo in Iron Man 2?

Cooooool.

Notes from the Road, Part I've-Lost-Count

I’m in Albury. Once again. Dad expressed some confusion about the amount of time I spend on the road and how my missives from Albury fit into that. He thought that the only time I go anywhere as part of my job was when I came to Albury.

Just to clarify for everyone, I actually go all over the place, from Bendigo to Sorrento to Frankston to Ballarat. The only place I stay overnight, however, is Albury.

And I think I’ve finally found a hotel I actually like.

It’s the smallest room I’ve had so far, but it’s definitely the nicest. And the best bit? I got upgraded to a King suite at no extra cost.

I will be coming back, needless to say.

EDIT: Bedside lamps cast horrible fluorescent light. Still a nice room, though.

Unfortunately, No Accompanying Photos

By Friday, we’ll have been in our new place for two weeks. Everything’s going really well. We added an additional two book cases to the pair I inherited from PK when he moved overseas, for a grand total of four. And given that Simone and I both work in publishing, we need all the bookshelves we can get! Thankfully, they’re from Ikea, so they’re cheap, like the budgie.

Oooooh!

We also got a 12 cube storage unit for all the DVDs (which is already full, frustratingly enough!). Saturday night was spent putting together all the shelves we’d bought that day and then putting away all the books and DVDs that had been sitting around for over a week. This carried us well past midnight, during which we watched “40 Hottest Onset Hook-Ups” (which went for over two hours!!!).

Our oven is being fixed on Thursday, which is the same day our cable gets installed. God I’ve missed cable. You don’t really appreciate how little variety there is on commercial television until you’ve been subjected to it for an extended period of time. After that, the only thing that remains is to get the Internet set up. Oh, and the phone line. Gotta remember the phone line.

If ever I mention moving again, please feel free to punch me. In the face.

Quick Note (Oh, and Happy New Year!)

Wow, have I ever been slack! (or as PK called me in an email 'a not-so-considerate cowboy'.

The long and the short of it is that, in amongst Christmas, New Year and now moving (more or less packed and ready for the removal van to come tomorrow morning!) I've been somewhat busy.

While I fully intend to get an Internet connection established in the new place, it might take some time (all wireless broadband supplier tips and info most welcome, btw!). This means that it might be a while before I do a full update and get back to some semi-regular blogging.

Love to you all, and hope you're all enjoying your shiney new 2009! Talk soon!