The weekend was a fairly quiet affair, with all the Christmas shopping I intended to do passed over in favour of sitting on my fat arse and watching TV.
"Inspired" by the non-stop advertising for the show on cable (more like "brainwashed by") Ben downloaded the first six or so episodes of
Gossip Girl, the new series by the creator of
The OC based on some horrid YA series of novels.
Everyone else in the house seemed to really enjoy it - whether that was on an ironic level or not I can't really tell - while I was almost brought to tears watching the trials and tribulations of a bunch of spoiled New York yuppie kids and their assorted Bret Easton Ellis-lite "adventures".
The most annoying aspect of the whole show is the framing device; the writings of the titular "gossip girl". Gossip Girl runs what one presumes is a blog, updating people as to what five or so teenagers from some private school are doing. That'd get, what, like six hits, tops?
Anyways, gossip girl uses her spies everywhere to inform "us", the readers of her site, what the Impossibly-Good-Looking cast are all up to.
The only really interesting aspect to this is guessing who Gossip Girl's real identity is. Having just read that the unseen narrator is voiced by Kristen Bell (from
Veronica Mars /
Heroes ), I think it's safe to say there'll be no building / resolution of the "Who is Gossip Girl?" mystery, which is a real shame.
But in answer to this, Li-Kim and I have decided to compile our own lists of "Who is Gossip Girl?". Li-Kim's list will be posted over at her blog, but while you're waiting for that golden nugget of comedy to drop, check out mine;
5) Alan Dale
This was Li-Kim's initial suggestion for who Gossip Girl really was, and it's one I seized on. I instantly envisioned the grand reveal, with all the cast spinning the high-back leather chair that GG is sitting in to reveal Dale's craggy visage, attired in a pink Hello Kitty! t-shirt, before he screams Gossip Girl's catchphrase of "X-O, X-O, bitches!" and disappears in an explosion of mauve smoke.
4) Chim-Chim from Speed Racer
With a new Speed Racer movie coming out, wiley monkey Chim-Chim took it upon himself to start a Dark Knight-esque viral campaign that included an entirely unrelated and completely boring teenage soap opera!
3) Amy Winehouse
She needs something to do now that she's cancelled her tour, and she'd probably appreciate being the author of tireless gossip rather than the subject of it!
2) Perez Hilton
Wanting to maintain his "celebrity blogger" status minus the venomous ire his online scrawlings generate, Perez decides to go "undercover". Watch for him in the background of key scenes, tapping notes madly into his Blackberry while wearing a wig and sunglasses so he doesn't "get made".
And in our number one spot ...
1) Doctor Doom
He's one of the greatest supervillains of all time. You'd be surprised how far his influence reaches. KNEEL BEFORE DOOM! X-O, X-O, YOU SNIVELLING PEASANTS!!
And that's that. Hopefully all this speculation hasn't earned me Gossip Girl's wrath, with her posting things like "S spotted sulking on landing outside trendy night spot, crying 'I'm going to go eat some worms!' " or some such.
