Saturday, March 29, 2008

It Hurts to Laugh

I saw this at JB-HiFi when I was visiting Ben (and buying way more DVDs and CDs than I should have ... but hey, I got a 3 CD set of Curtis Mayfield for $10! Bargain!).

Anyway, when I saw this, I was so over-loaded with hysteria that I couldn't even react. I just stared at it, muted by the undiluted comedy of it.

Behold! Andre Rieu: The Flying Dutchman!


Oh God, Oh God! It's just too much!

If you don't know him, he's a violinist famous (amongst baby-boomer mums everywhere) for making waltz music "popular" again.

But I know him better as Andre Rieu: Comedy God.

I mean, when you combine a crimson bi-plane, a violin, and a man wearing a tuxedo and sporting a child's delighted grin, you hit visual bufoonery paydirt.

My brain will never be the same again.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Speaking of the Foozball ...


... I'm going. On Sunday.

Yes. Me. Of all people. Going. To the football.

We get free tickets at work, and I figured I should at least give it a try. I'm going with the other guys in my department as a bit of a bonding exercise. I guess. As to who's playing, I have no idea. I'm not even a hundred per cent sure where it's happening, although I've been told both these things.

I don't know what I'm expecting to happen. I'll most likely find it as boring as bat shit. But you have to try, don't you? Simone has expressed concern that this is the beginning of the end, that before you know it I'll be your average footyhead. This is something that Dad has been prophecising would happen ever since I moved to Melbourne.

Come on, guys! Seriously? Me?? I don't think so!

In other news, I've finished watching all three seasons of Deadwood, borrowed from my boss ...


... I've now moved onto the season season of Rome ...


... and I've become addicted to Peach flavour Ice Tea.


(I think the ice tea addiction alone is enough to keep me from ever becoming a blokey sports fan).

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What's Worse?

Coming up with rosters for your own AFL dream team, as many of my work colleagues do ...


... or dream-casting for a never-going-to-happen-in-a-million years, dark, HBO-produced live-action Batman series ?


I know which one I find more fun thinking about.


I'd call it Tales of the Dark Knight and it'd be wicked awesome!

Yes, I know I need to make with the growing up. But tell the football geeks that too, dagnabit!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Catching You Up and Boring You Senseless

Obviously I don’t need to tell you that it’s been a good long while since I last took a great big blog … er, I mean posted a great big blog. In any case, here’s my half-arsed attempt at catching up, recapping all the old news (and some recent news, too!)

Talk-Eee
Our sales conference in Torquay ended up being quite the event. Arriving at the venue at 9am, my travel buddy Good Ol' Country Boy and I joined the already in-progress presentations, where we were shown all the titles getting published in the next six months. Morning tea and lunch buffets were provided, and I ate way too much in the way of peanut slices. We were allowed to retire to our rooms at about 3.30 (which I did, and marvelled at the prospect of having a king size bed and spacious digs all to myself) before we gathered in the lobby for pre-dinner drinks followed by a barbeque buffet.

One of the bosses (who’s been with the company for 35 years!) is retiring, and we were there to celebrate. As his physical trademark is a big, swirly walrus moustache, we all donned similar costume mo’s in honour of the occasion. I have to say, I think I looked good with a bit of Mario Brothers-inspired facial hair.

I ended up staying up 'til past 4 in the morning with a number of my work-mates (including my boss), carrying on with language that was by no means professional. Apparently, Good Ol' Country Boy and I made a positive impression on everyone, as our boss told us he kept getting good feedback from all the interstate execs meeting us for the first time. Huzzah!

The conferences happen every six months, and for the first time in ten years my boss is handing the reins of the planning for the next one onto someone else … namely, little ol’ me! Hopefully I don’t stuff it up too bad!

Adventures on the Silver Screen
I gave a lift back to Melbourne to both Good Ol' Country Boy and my boss, who forgot that he’d put the data projector he’d taken down for the conference in my boot. Putting two-and-two together, I asked Ben if it’d be possible to hook it up to the DVD player … and promptly ended up with something that looked like this in the living room;


Yes, we projected the DVD player onto our large living room wall, giving us not big screen TV, but rather GIANT screen TV. Combine that with the fact that I’d recently been lent a burnt disc of films still currently in cinema release (Juno, I Am Legend, a few others) and the rest of the weekend was set.

I watched Ratatouille that night with Simone, while eating a dinner of fruits and chocolates (which was an appropriate choice of meal, given the constant conversations about combining complimentary flavours in the movie. Li-Kim and Carol watched Juno the next day, with Li-Kim getting instantly shitted off with the talky nature of it. Honest to blog!

I Do, I Do, I Do
I’ve only briefly touched on the wedding I attended (between my workmate Good Ol’ Country Boy and his high school sweetheart. Awww!). It turned out to be a really fun night. Simone and I got dolled up (with her results far outdoing mine … although she’s let me know she doesn’t appreciate the comments of her prettiness with accompanying photos, and would like it if I promptly quieted up. Hi, honey!) and headed to Federation Square, where we met up with my boss (who’d also been invited).

We’d all strictly followed the black-and-white theme of the evening, with the only clothing allowed being that which was monochromatic. Unfortunately, despite her having her camera handy, neither Simone nor I thought to take anything more than the two photos we snapped at my house before leaving. So you’ll just have to trust me on how awesome we looked and how cool it all was. ‘Kay?

The venue was in Fed Square, on the river. It was my first grown-up wedding where I wasn’t hired help (“grown-up” meaning that I’m a grown-up, rather than having attended a lot of weddings between kids where they use temporary tattoo stickers instead of rings, the family dog serves as the minister and the service is interrupted by the bride getting bored and deciding she’d rather be kicking the groom in the shins) and it was a beautiful and heartening event.

Warm and Toasty
This past weekend saw a housewarming take place at the illustrious compound known as Sarah and Cara’s place over on Lygon street. They’ve snagged a really awesome place for themselves, with a huge backyard area with pre-existing fairy lights in place (God, I love fairy lights!). Photos can be found on Facebook. I might poach some at some stage to stick them up here, but my laziness will probably preclude me from doing that. Damn laziness. Crappy stuff happened with belongings of Cara’s, but it doesn’t seem to have affected her too badly. You’re a champ, Cizzle!

The Procurement of Material Possessions
I have purchased for myself over the past few weeks a few shirts from Threadless, a few DVDs (more Justice League, the complete Lano and Woodley, Venture Bros.) and a couple of books (The Porn Report, a text book written by one of my uni lecturers studying the social effects of pornography and Lolly Scramble, which is Tony Martin’s autobiography).

I received an amazing, hand-made leather photo album from Dad, with my name etched on the front and a small, antique lock keeping it shut. Hard to believe he made it himself (thanks again, Pop!).

But speaking of handmade leather books, I also received a journal from Simone (which I’ve finally broken in, with my first entry being notes on the Jungian archetype of the senex … aka, the wise old man commonly found in mythological texts. Complete wankery, I know, so you can shut up with your psychically-projected insults!). This is in amongst a number of other gifts given back and forth between the two of us, but I felt it warranted special mention.

Tickets, Get Yer Tickets Here


I have tickets to the Smashing Pumpkins with Li-Kim for the 4th of April (veeeeery excited!) and to see Rollins do his spoken word thing with Simone a couple of weeks later (also veeeeeery excited). Grindhouse opens at the Astor tomorrow for a strictly limited season, and Ben and I are looking to organise a small posse to go and check it out. Interested? Drop me (or Ben) a line!

I’ve entered a competition to win two tickets to the San Diego Comicon, and I’m looking into places to stay in Apollo Bay with Simone for my birthday.

The Search Continues …
… for Housemate # 3. Scrappy? Lean? Acquit yourself well in a pit fight? Then you may be just the bruiser we’re looking for! At Henry Street, 3 Housemates enter, 1 Housemate leaves (and is then replaced only after a long, drawn-out, poorly-organised search).

And I think that just about brings us up-to-date. If you’ve made it this far, bless you … you’re a far more patient reader than me! I stopped paying attention to this crap about half-way through writing it! Not that it shows or anything …

I’ll most likely be back in another couple of weeks, when it occurs to me I haven’t prodded my blog in a while. Enjoy the silence!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

It's Been a Month Since Sorry Day ...

... and the world hasn't exploded! Civilisation hasn't fallen in on itself! Well, whadayaknow!

In recognition of this, please take a look at the following link. It's really, very funny (and completely safe for work).

Enjoy

Sunday, March 9, 2008

What Did I Tell You ??

You might remember me writing this;

"Photos of my swankiness will no doubt appear here in time ... although given that I'll be with Simone, I'll be lucky to not end up being the shabby guy standing next to the beautiful-woman-who-could-quite-obviously-do-much-better."

Well, check it out. I totally called it;


This is one of the two photos taken from the night we went to the wedding, but given that I look even worse in the other (and my giant head is obscuring Simone's much prettier one), I've elected to keep that one to myself. No, I can't explain why I'm grinning like that.

But hopefully now you'll stop pestering me about getting a photo (by "you", I mean inter-state relatives).

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Token Update

Yes, I'm still alive, and I promise to update soon. In the meantime, enjoy this picture of a squirrel with a bazooka ....


See, I wasn't lying!