While I've Got Your(Tube) Attention

Look, it's the "real" transformers!



These guys are certainly less than meets the eye.

Friday Feem Toon

It's another Friday.

It's another feem tuun.

It's Daft Punk.

It's Digital Love.

Happy weekend.

What a Bastard!

Today in the office we received mail from a man whose surname is Bastard.

Yes. Bastard.

I'll give you time to allow the full weight of that to settle in all your minds, but I think my favourite use of that surname would be in introducing the bride and groom at the wedding reception.

"Ladies and gentleman, may I present to you, the happy couple ... Mr and Mrs Bastard!"

How this guy lives his life, I have no idea.

Seperated at Birth?

Or father and son?

You be the judge!

Dressed to Kill

Is it weird that I want to dress like a serial killer?

Thanks to Ben's downloading skillz, I've become hooked on Dexter.

As part of his forensics department, Dexter (the serial killer who only kills killers, while also working as a blood splatter specialist for the Miami PD) is a member of a bowling team, where he wears the following shirt;



I found it available to buy here, and have since become obsessed with the idea of getting one ... even though they cost about $60 Australian.

But perhaps more disturbing is my desire to buy this piece of apparel, as found on the same site;

This is the shirt that Dexter wears when he's "on the hunt", as it were. The site refers to it as his "kill uniform".

As much as I'd like to get it, the thing prohibiting me from doing so is that, darn it, I just wouldn't look as good filling it out as Michael C Hall does.

I think my ever-expanding love handles would soil the entire image, really.

But a geek can dream. Oh yes, a geek can dream ...

'Nuff Said?

By Phillip Adams from The Australian;

"SPARE me the sentimental tosh about John Howard. Here's why his departure is a joyous occasion.

The scene: The Great Hall at the University of Sydney. The grand opening of a conference for the Centre for the Mind. Crowds have gathered to see Nelson Mandela cut the ribbon. As chairman of the advisory board it is my duty to welcome our patron, the Prime Minister. That long-time opponent of sanctions against apartheid South Africa will then welcome Mandela. When I complain bitterly about my chore, the vice-chancellor murmurs, "Protocol."

A last-minute phone call from a protocol officer in the PM's department.

"Do you really want to introduce the PM?" he asks.

"Of course I bloody well don't!"

"Yes, it would be a bit hypocritical."

"Not as hypocritical as the PM introducing Mandela."

The resolution? The VC will introduce Howard. I'll move the vote of thanks. When I explain the change, Mandela isn't fussed but asks me: "How's Paul Keating getting on?"

This backstage kerfuffle is nothing to Malcolm Fraser's loud performance in front of the gathering dignitaries, including the PM. He tells of a crisis early in his prime ministership involving Vietnamese close to the Australian embassy. They are understandably desperate to be allowed into this country. Fraser phones Gough Whitlam, who agrees they should be welcomed. "So did my entire cabinet, except for one person. Guess who!" And he points the finger at Howard.

The scene: John Laws's 2UE studio in 1988. Anticipating One Nation by many years, Howard warns the nation of the dangers of Asian immigration. So outraged is the response to his statement that Howard loses his job as Opposition leader a year later.

The scene: A new prime minister manipulates Hansonism in the mid to late 1990s. Forget dog-whistle politics. In a campaign as deafening as any air raid siren, Howard declares war on multiculturalism and political correctness. White Australia rises from its grave. Bigotry is unleashed via an epidemic of racist graffiti, schoolyard attacks and shock-jock broadcasting. Thanks to the main parties' accommodation of One Nation, Australian racism is world news.

The scene: A few thousand refugees flee the Taliban and Saddam Hussein in 2001. Howard brands them queue jumpers, illegals and has cohorts hint that they're terrorists. The Tampa sails into view and our detention of decent people in concentration camps becomes an international disgrace. Kim Beazley rolls over. The ALP is complicit in this political pornography, this immense stunt. Kids overboard. The Australian Navy is appalled by what it's ordered to do. More than 350 die on the SievX. All this wins Howard another term.

The scene: 9/11. Howard jumps the queue to sign up for the misconceived war on terror and the horror story of the Iraq invasion. Immense numbers of Iraqis are killed. We are complicit in hundreds of thousands of deaths, in Abu Ghraib, in torture, in rendition. It isn't democracy that blossoms in the Middle East. It's terrorism. To this day Howard insists that the fiasco of Iraq is a success.

The scene: Guantanamo Bay. Howard permits the monstrous treatment of David Hicks.

The scene: The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission prepares Bringing Them Home, the tragic account of the stolen generations. Before publication date in 1997, Howard's bovver boys not only deride the document but slander Ronald Wilson. Historical revisionism kicks in. Reconciliation is rejected. The black-white divide deepens. Quadrant crows. Pauline Hanson is pleased.

The scene: The Kelly gang - the husbands of retiring member Jackie Kelly and her would-be replacement - are caught distributing a piece of crap designed to press the hot buttons on anti-Muslim bigotry. We're told this attempt to throw fuel on the world's most inflammatory issue is a prank. The PM promptly denies any knowledge of this dirtiest of dirty tricks, yet it sits within the culture of bigotry he has encouraged over many years.

The scene: As the election gains pace, Howard's immigration minister Kevin Andrews targets the alleged criminality of Sudanese refugees and immigrants. Deja vu all over again.

The scene: A few days before the election, Howard is asked to list his proudest achievements. Right up front he says the destruction of - yes - political correctness.

Is Howard a bigot? His support of apartheid South Africa, his long-term indifference to the issues of Aboriginal Australia, his exploitation of the refugee issue and his on-the-record hostility to Asian immigration would suggest so. Or is he a main-chancer, a cunning manipulator of other people's fears and racism? If the latter, isn't that morally worse? That's why I'm not shedding tears at Howard's departure. Because his fondness for the Menzies era involved the revival of too many aspects of White Australia. No other modern PM on either side of politics would have touched it with a barge pole."

And now it's me again;

Of course, none of the above takes into account his broken promises (probably the largest being the GST), his homophobia, and his barely-veiled contempt for both the working class and anyone aged 18 - 25. Oh, and his head-stuck-in-the-sand approach to any and all environmental issues. And his corporate stoolie-ism. And his misuse of taxpayer's funds. And on, and on, and on.

It really feels like the world's become a different place since Saturday. I'm checking news sites every hour for the latest headlines, with so many amazing and exciting changes taking place I feel I can barely keep up.

Please, please let this be the start of something new, something good.

I'm off to check the headlines again.

Congratulations, K-Rudd!

Now don't stuff it up!

Off To See This Tonight ...

On the big screen no less! Am very excited!!

Friday Feem 2n

Just a quick one to celebrate the arrival of another Friday.

Got a date with the night? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.



(I'm sorry, I had to do it!)

Unsettling Similarities

Carol and I came to a startling realisation last night. Ben is almost exactly like Pikachu from Pokemon!


In fact, you could even say he's a PikaChuah!


Snap!!

My Power and Influence is Growing ...

You might recall my email to Get This and its reference to co-host Ed Kavalee resembling both a 'parade float' and an 'engorged man-brute'.

Well, savegetthis.com has been set up in an effort by fans to, quite obviously, save Get This, and as I was checking through their site, whose fingerprints did I find ... but mine very own ?!!

Observe!

This is a flyer the site has created for the party following the final broadcast. As you can see for yourself, Ed Kavalee's entry has him listed ... as Engorged Manbrute!!! This is indeed a term coined by your very own blogmaster!

But it doesn't end there. Upon further exploration of the site, I found Ed's bio, which included this helpful information;

'In Podcast 140, it was revealed that Ed is happy to be called a engorged man-brute due to his height and pulling power on Thank God You're Here, but not as a "float".'

Clearly, now is the best time to curry favour with me, as my grip on the cultural lexicon is surely to only tighten, and it is at my whim that you will be referred to as either sublimely satisfying or utterly uck-tistic.

The choice is yours, mortals!

I Am The King ...

... of my own Calm Kingdom.



I will now go add a drop of lavender to my bath. As I don't actually have a bath, I will simply lather myself in lavender under the searing blast of the shower jets.

Friday Feem Tuun

In celebration of the oncoming weekend, I figured I'd try to post a link to a song I like every Friday.

To kick off the Friday Feem Tuun, I give you a track by a guy I personally think is a bit of a toss pot ... but damn if I don't love this song.

Ladies, gentlemen ...

Kanye!

Day 3

He's wearing a shirt and tie AGAIN! And this time it's one of those shirts with the coloured torso and the white collar.

If it was me, by now, I'd have looked around and decided to cool it with at least the tie action. But this guy ... I think he's planning a hostile take-over!

Before I know it he'll be in charge and I'll be wearing a shirt and tie and talking about mergers and acquisitions and this whole place will be one of those stock firm things!!

Well ... I guess there'll at least be the bonus of unrestricted Bolivian marching powder. But I'm not trading my Ray Bans for no loaves of bread!!

... I don't think anyone will get that last reference ...

Alone in a Sea of T-Shirts and Jeans

Even after being the ONLY one in formal business attire yesterday, The Temp has once again rocked up sporting full on G-Man outfit, including shirt, tie AND jacket.

I can only conclude that he is an aspiring Gordon Gecko-type, and will not stop until he's achieved all the success that Tony Robbins has promised him for all these years.

The Polish Terminator Poster

Am I the only one who thinks "Elektroniczny Morderca" would make for a great techno-duo band name?

TV Party

I finished the first season of Dexter last night. Overall it was very enjoyable, with plenty of twists and turns to keep the viewer's interest. Two of the major revelations were, in retrospect, quite obvious, and I felt somewhat dense for having not spotted them earlier. I want Lost to come back on so I can feel quietly superior about my ability to predict plot developments.

I started watching the first season of The Wire last weekend. It's a very good show - gritty, involving, and highly realistic with its depiction of cops who are under-funded and also, for the most part, more interested in their career prospects than catching the bad guy. My initial entry into the series was a little unfairly balanced, however, as I'd heard nothing but rave reviews about it, calling it "the best TV show EVER". I get the feeling if you're a Michael Mann fan, that would definitely be your opinion, but as for me, I think it's (so far) quite good, but I'm as yet not blown away.

Finally, let me say;

"It is I who have replaced YOU! With the NIGHT!"

That's my favourite quote from The Sarah Silverman Program, and it's one that's been running through my head a lot lately. She says it to her sister before she goes running, literally, into the night.

So with that in mind, and to wrap things up, here's a picture of Sarah Silverman, looking hot.

Ta!

Professionally Speaking

Having lunch at my desk today, and since I realised it's been a week since my last post, I figured I'd fire off a couple quick ones.

... though I have nothing to say.

Oh! There's a temp working in the office today. A dude temp. Obviously he hadn't been here before and had to decide what to attire himself in this morning, so he made the highly professional choice of a business shirt and tie.

I think he's the only guy on the floor wearing a tie ... if not in the entire building.

Welcome to the Winner's Circle

As promised, here are the photos taken from my excursion to Flemington race course. I know probably only my parents will be interested in this but, hey, isn't this the very purpose of blogs?

I've omitted photos I either wasn't in or appeared creepily in the background of ... so that was quite a few.

Here we go;

The boys surveying the track. From left to right that's Joel, Adri's partner Ant, me and Adri.

The group in the grand stand. Joel, Ant, Serap, me and Lizzie.

Serap and me. That hat was difficult to negotiate with!


Serap and me watching the race. Obviously she cared a bit more than I did.

There was a rash of picture taking. I can't explain it.
Curse the foul light of day!
And that's about it. Hopefully I didn't look too awkward and twitchy for you all. If I did, kindly take your complaints elsewhere.

And They're Off!

Just got back from Derby Day and, thanks to the open bar at the corporate marquee I was in, am now completely effed.

In short; had a good time.

Full report (and pictures!) to follow ... but for the time being I think it's shower, cable, and sleep. Sleepy sleep sleep.