Monday, May 14, 2007

"Dark Tower"? More like "DORK Tower"! HA!

Apparently, to get Sarah's support (to the point where she'd wear a "We Heart Steven's Blog" shirt), I'd have to write posts more like this article from SomethingAwful.com. I'm hoping merely copying and pasting will suffice, as actually coming up with something as witty and insightful as this might be beyond me.

The article is all about disappointing surprise villains, and is specifically in reference to Stephen King's Dark Tower series;

Hey Stephen, if you build up a character as the ultimate evil in seven books written over the course of twenty years, then maybe you want to make him something a little more threatening than a cranky Santa Claus that's killed by a giant magic pencil eraser you introduced five pages earlier. I know I am not the award winning author of such novels as "Alcoholic Writer Versus Scary Ghosts" and "Alcoholic Writer Versus Scary Women" and this one short story where I swear to god it was about a young black maid who felt the compulsion to eat the semen off a popular horror writer's sheets (this is a story he actually wrote), but maybe you'll listen to my small word of advice anyway.

You may be a perfectly nice person, but all I'm saying is the ending to 'The Dark Tower' was the worst thing to enter your head since that van's bumper.

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